vocaroo:

*points at a tiny singing bird* you shut the fuck up

(via dieselandgunsmoke)

remps:

“dude look at the personality on that girl”

“oh shit man i’d talk to her all night long”

(via farmerstansandbarefeet)

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

(via youbeturfannypack)

nayx:

this is so illegal.  we’re going to get in so much trouble.  you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs

(via youbeturfannypack)

tunaofthesea:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i always feel really uncomfortable when two heavily tattooed people have a baby and the baby comes out blank idk i just expect some tattoos

blank

(via dirtydaisies)